so its totally awful to have to put up with living in a place you dislike, with all your heart, whilst your home and family and friends are in another world, another place, somewhere you're not.. you have your alibis with you but many are foe not friend, many are out there for themselves and you're left with a feeling of dispair and lack of hope for the future. . you feel lonely and you know what you want in life, you really know what you want and you're so close to getting that, but it is so far out of reach and its so hard. My mind just spins and spins in this world, its never ending, i think of the past and i think of the good old days, why do I have to be punished? Why is it always me who makes the mistakes? I have done nothing wrong, I just want to live and to love in this world.